Today's Giggle

It's the summer of 1957 and Harold goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Harold's a pretty hip guy with his own car and a ducktail hairdo. When he goes to the front door, Peggy Sue's mother answers and invites him in.

'Peggy Sue's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?' she says.

"That's cool."

Peggy Sue's mother asks Harold what they're planning to do. Harold replies politely that they will probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive in movie.

Peggy Sue's mother responds, 'Why don't you kids go out and learn to screw? I hear all the kids are doing it.'

Naturally this comes as quite a surprise to Harold and he says: 'Wha...aaat?'

'Yeah,' says Peggy Sue's mother , 'We know Peggy Sue tried it and really likes it; she'd screw all night if we let her! ' Harold's eyes light up and he smiles from ear to ear. Immediately, he has revised the plans for the evening.

A few minutes later, Peggy Sue comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt with her saddle shoes, and announces that she's ready to go.

Almost breathless with anticipation, Harold escorts his date out the front door while Mom is saying, 'Have a good evening kids,' with a small wink for Harold.

About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly dishevelled Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her and screams at her mother:

'Dammit, Mom! The Twist! The Twist! It's called The Twist'!

I've Got to Stop Thinking...

OK...it's all my fault. Just the other day, I was thinking how we're in the midst of the holiday season and yet we haven't had any household emergencies. It seems like every year we have some home disaster requiring repair and the spending of money. One year our heater went out just before Christmas; another time our drains backed up big time. And here I was counting our blessings that things were so calm.

So yesterday, Mr. Fairway noticed some water running out from the cabinet under the kitchen sink...never a good sign. Anyway, it turns out the water was dripping from the rusted bolts on the bottom of the garbage disposer. Thankfully, we left a message with our plumber who graciously called us back even though it was Sunday. He told us to go out and buy a replacement disposer and he would come by today to install it.

Now you may be wondering why Mr. Fairway doesn't do the install himself to save some money. Let's just say that, while he is a capable man with many talents, home repair isn't one of them. Oh, he can do the small things around the house but I put my foot down when it comes to anything electrical or plumbing related. The one thing I don't want to do is pay a professional even more money to fix the mistakes a novice like Hubby would do.

Mr. Plumber just left and now I have to call Mr. Electrician. Apparently our home is so old that, while our old disposer was hard-wired under the sink, our new local code requires a simple outlet to plug in the unit. Oh goody...more money and time to spend on the house...sigh.

Meme for the Season

I've been feeling kinda punky for the last few days so I haven't felt creative enough to think of anything to post. Thankfully, I found this great holiday meme at Driven to Distraction so here goes...

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
Since I seem to have lost all patience when it comes to wrapping gifts, gift bags are now my new best friends.

2. Real tree or Artificial?
We don't do a tree at all. Oh, we have a boatload of boxes filled with ornaments in the garage but, everytime I think of the effort it takes to pack each one after the holiday season, I resist the temptation to go out and buy a tree...real or artificial.

3. When do you put up the tree?
Tree? What tree?

4. When do you take the tree down?
Tree? Still...what tree?

5. Do you like eggnog?
I always look forward, as the holiday approaches, to having a glass of eggnog but then it never tastes quite like I remember so I limit myself to just the one glass.

6. Favorite gift received as a child?
I honestly cannot remember one gift I got as a child although I can remember that I never got the one gift I always wanted...a set of Lionel trains. Drat!

7. Hardest person to buy for?
Mr. Fairway. Even though I tell him he's not allowed to buy himself anything after the first of December, he always cheats and buys whatever he wants so we don't really exchange gifts anymore.

8. Easiest person to buy for?
Mom...our traditional gift to her (along with lots of clothes) is a bottle of Shalimar cologne. She's been wearing that scent for more than 60 years.

9. Do you have a nativity scene?
Yep, a small one and it's been packed away in our garage with all the other decorations.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards?
Mail. And it's the one holiday responsibility Mr. Fairway has!

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
An ironing board from a boyfriend...yes, definitely a former boyfriend.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
"A Christmas Carol" starring George C. Scott. We watch it every Christmas Eve after we get home from church.

13. When do you start shopping?
Usually around the first of November although this year all the adults have made a pact not to exchange gifts so my shopping season has been shortened considerably. Whew!

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
Yep..a few although none of them come to mind at the moment.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
Until our neighbor passed away a few years ago, her butterscotch haystacks were the gastronomic highlight of the holiday season.

16. Lights on the tree?
Since we don't do a tree, we don't do lights.

17. Favorite Christmas song?
"Angels We Have Heard On High" It took me a long time to learn the "Gloria" refrain and I just love it!

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
We drive 65 miles to my sister-in-law's home to celebrate with Mr. Fairway's family each and every Christmas Day.

19. Angel on the tree top or a star?
Ummm, no tree remember?

20. Open presents on Christmas Eve or morning?
Mr. Fairway and I generally don't exchange gifts but sometimes we buy each other little items and open them on Christmas morning.

21. Favorite ornament?
I haven't seen our ornaments in so long (remember...they are in the garage) that I dont remember what any of them look like.

22. Favorite for Christmas dinner?
It's Mr. Fairway's family tradition for us to bring a smoked turkey. Yum.

23. What do you want for Christmas this year?
Peace on Earth. Mr. Fairway and I ask for this every year but so far the world just hasn't cooperated. Maybe this year...